To all my friends! I am deeply sorry for my recent posts and don’t blame you if you unfriend me but I am not trying to make excuses for this type of…

To all my friends! I am deeply sorry for my recent posts and don’t blame you if you unfriend me but I am not trying to make excuses for this type of behavior but I am in a deep depression and I was talking to a friend on the phone and was reminded of my parents suicides, my nephew’s suicide, my cousin’s suicide and my best friend’s suicide and suicide has plagued my mind and when I was reminded of all this I relayed a story of one of my suicide attempts where I attempted to die in my car by carbon monoxide poisoning but a cop saved my life in target’s parking lot. I have a lot on my mind and am very isolated, depressed and have very few friends. Anytime I go out it’s always by myself and to alleviate my depression I am a compulsive shopper buying dresses for which I can’t help and I go to movies by myself. I can’t take being alone all the time. I am alive and very depressed and am truly sorry but I can’t help that I am suffering and detest my male body and can’t take being alone and sad all the time. Buying dresses and going to movies are the only things that take me away from my depression but it’s only temporary but at least I can wear my dresses. I’m truly sorry and hope you can find your way in forgiving me. I am very sick mentally and can’t help the way my mind works. I’m truly very sick in my mind but people don’t realize this because I over compensate like I do for my transgender identity. God Bless You All for your love and concern. I’m truly sorry for alarming you all.
Emily Iannielli

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